Signs You're In a Bad Hospital

*All the diplomas on the wall are signed by Sally Struthers.

*You recognize your doctor as kid who was mopping the lobby when you checked in.

*In the operating room, you see a surgeon holding a sign that says, "WILL DO SURGERY FOR FOOD!"

*Every couple of minutes, you hear a bugle playing Taps.

*You and your roommate have to take turns on the I.V.

*Through fog of anesthesia, you hear the surgeon shouting, "Bring the darn Scotch tape! And plenty of it!"

*Instead of "patient," they use the term "plaintiff."